ME: Sir, thank you for taking time to grant me
this exclusive interview. I am grateful Sir.
Mr
PREZ: You’re welcome, my brother.
ME:
My first question is, do you really have to go for a second term when it is
obvious Nigerians don’t want you?
Mr
PREZ: Who says Nigerians don’t want me? My kinsmen want me to run for
presidency again. And my wife and ministers and the Presidency too.
ME:
Which kinsmen?
Mr
PREZ: My brothers and sisters in the creeks.
ME:
You mean that ex-militant in particular who has been making threats?
Mr
PREZ: You better don’t call him an ex-militant. He’s a billionaire now and can bully
even me.
ME:
How can somebody like him bully a whole President of 160 million people?
Mr
PREZ: Ah, what do you know? He and Tompolo are in charge of securing our
bloodline – that is, oil pipeline.
ME:
OK Sir. But we heard you really don’t want to go for a second term. Could that be
true?
Mr
PREZ: Let me tell you one secret. Yes, I would rather retire to Otuoke, and
enjoy my life and wealth. What more do I want? I have been a Local Government
Chairman, been a deputy Governor, a Governor, Vice president and then a President
for six years. How much blessed can a man be?
ME:
You tell me Sir. Your place in history is assured.
Mr
PREZ: I am telling you. But the Dame and the others in government who are
stealing (not corrupt o) are saying I have to solder on to concretise my name
in history. So I am trying to put concrete on my name.
ME:
You are kiddin’ me Sir!
Mr
PREZ: No, I am kiddin’ you not. You are hearing it from me.
ME:
You mean from the horse’s mouth?
Mr
PREZ: Who are you calling a horse? You better don’t let the Dame hear that.
ME:
I am sorry Sir.
Mr
PREZ: No wahala.
ME:
Sir, your campaign team is not helping you at all with all their utterings,
FFK, that Ekiti thug and even the Dame. They are like crazy, desperate men, not
addressing real issues of concern to Nigerians.
Mr
PREZ: Are the APC and their leader, Tinubu doing anything different? Look, FFK,
Koroand that Ekiti thug were brought in because of their toughness and
ruggedness. You know I am a simple man, peaceful, naïve and left to me, Buhari
can have it. I respect age, and Buhari is older than me. But these guys say No!
It must be Fire for Fire. So I leave it to them. You know they are more of
thugs than me? But leave the Dame outta it. She’s just doing her duty as a
faithful and loyal wife who wants the best for her husband.
ME:
Good Sir. I concur about the Dame. Apologies Sir.
Mr
PREZ: You know you journalists know more than me. So tell me, what’s Buhari
doing in London? I hear he went for medicals, and then some guys were paid to
heckle him. Why does he have to go and campaign in the UK?
ME:
Yes, he was in London at the invitation of Nigerians in Diaspora who want
Change. That is, they want you and the PDP out of Aso Rock.
Mr
PREZ: Oh dear! You mean “Dial-spola”, as my Dame will call them? Who are those
people? They will not vote. They cannot even vote. Are they even Nigerians?
Don’t they have foreign passports and citizenships?
ME:
That’s where you are wrong Sir. You see, you promised them in 2011 that you would
ensure they are able to vote in 2015 but you never kept that promise and so
they are getting back at you. Even if they can’t vote, they can mobilise
millions of votes against you in Nigeria. And most of them have dual
nationality.
Mr
PREZ: You kiddin’ me?
ME:
No, Sir, I am not!
Mr
PREZ: Damn!!!
ME:
And moreover, these same “Dial-spola” Nigerians fought for you to become
President when the late Umaru Yar Adua kitchen cabinet tried all subterfuge to
suppress and ignore the Constitution to deny your automatic and constitutional succession
to become President in 2010. I was part of the Save Nigeria Group marches in
London in freezing weather. We eventually got you in and then voted for you in
2011 to have your own mandate. But you disappointed us.
Mr
PREZ: Oh dear! I did?
ME:
Yessir, you did.
Mr
PREZ: I am sorry. What can I do to redress that?
ME:
Nothing Sir. It’s too late now. You have to contest that election that was
shifted and then lose.
Mr
PREZ: Even as we are in renewed battling and gaining grounds from the Boko
Haram? And I went to the warfront to show my support and appreciation to a
rejuvenated Nigerian Army?
ME:
Too late Sir. The Chibok girls are another millstone hanging around your neck.
Mr
PREZ: Can I send that my militant bully cousin and his forces in to help? At
least he can talk a good fight.
ME:
I doubt it, Sir. The man is all talk. The money you’ve given him and others
have made them too fat. They want to enjoy the money, not get themselves
killed.
Mr
PREZ: Oh dear! What about FFK, Koro and the Ekiti thug? At least they are
bulldogs and streetfighters. They can use their shakara against the Boko Haram.
ME:
If you ask me Sir, those three guys are done for. They are merely fighting for
their own survival. You send them to Borno, and you will see they will leave
the PDP the next day. But I guess they are good at rigging elections, aren’t
they?
Mr
PREZ: Yes, I think so too. But don’t quote me. I really don’t know those guys.
Some bigwig PDP godfathers brought them in and who am I to say No? And they are
really doing good hatchet jobs, don’t you think?
ME:
Yessir, I must confess they are, but at your detriment. They are not helping
you at all. I can do a better job at promoting you than all of them combined.
Mr
PREZ: You can? Why didn’t you say so before? So which one you dey?
ME:
Too late Sir. I no dey for any side. I dey for Nigeria to be better governed
and managed. That’s what Nigerians are asking for.
Mr
PREZ: You mean you want Change? Dame has already said only bus conductors want
change.
ME:
On the contrary Sir, it is the passengers that want Change, not a bus conductor.
Passengers pay the conductor and expect some good service from the driver and
the conductor. It is the business of the conductor to give that service and
then change to the passengers, not vice versa. If he can’t give appropriate
change, he will be beaten up and tossed out of the bus.
Mr
PREZ: Is that want you’re prescribing for me?
ME:
Not me, Sir. But all of us!
Mr
PREZ: Who are all of you?
ME:
Seems like a lot of your people, Sir. Nigerians, they call them.
Mr
PREZ: Oh dear! I told the Dame I suspect so but she didn’t believe me.
ME:
Well Sir, you better believe me. But don’t despair, there are still a lot of
people who believe in you and your achievements, and that’s what matters. You
don’t have anything to fear.
Mr
PREZ: You mean I have achieved?
ME:
Of course Sir. How can you be President for six years and not achieve anything?
You have, Sir. Your people in Oyo State even say you are going to create our
very own state for us.
Mr
PREZ: Which state is that?
ME:
Ibadan State. Can you really do that? What about the others clamour for their
own states – Ijebu State, etc.?
Mr
PREZ: Don’t mind that Ibadan girl. Her father wants me to create a state for
her daughter to rule.
ME:
Thanks Sir.
Mr
PREZ: You can’t satisfy Nigerians. What more do they want in six years? Do they
think I am God?
ME:
No, Sir. What they think is that your government is godless. And if they allow
you a second term, by 2019, most of them will be dead.
Mr
PREZ: I can’t kill 180 million people now. Who will I rule then?
ME:
That’s the question, Sir. But that’s what is happening! We know the problem of
Nigeria did not start with you but you have made very little concerted and
sincere efforts to redress it. You just continued in the same destructive path.
That’s why Nigerians want you out. And then you have done a lot of crazy,
dumbfounding things and people just wonder, how could you?
Mr
PREZ: Such as?
ME:
You pardoned your former boss, Alams. You refused to indict Diezani and
Princess Oduah even when their corruption sins were glaring; billions of
dollars and naira have gone missing during your watch; now you are even now
trying to make Koro the Kongo a minister for the second time, despite his being
implicated in the Ekiti election rigging.
Mr
PREZ: What can I do, brother? I have to satisfy them. You mean they rigged in Ekiti
State? Lord have mercy! I thought Fayose won fairly because of stomach
infrastructure.
ME:
No Sir, there is a tape where all the bad men of the SW were caught discussing
how to rig, and you refused to allow an investigation to be conducted into the
allegations.Mr PREZ: So you want to replace me with that old foggy without
certificate?
ME:
No, not really, Sir. Personally Sir, I’d like you to go and enjoy the rest of
your life peacefully. You are a good man but not a good leader of men. We want
to replace you to prove that power lies in the hand of the Nigerian people. If
that “old foggy” gets elected and messes us up too, we will push him out too
via our vote. That is what we call democracy. That way, Nigerians are sending
out signals that we will not tolerate bad, incompetent, selfish, greedy,
inconsiderate, insensitive, corrupt, and visionless and focus-less leaders –
presidents, governors, senators, representatives, state legislators, local
government chairpersons and councillors.
Mr
PREZ: I get it now. But personally, is that what you think of me?
ME:
Not all of them, but some of them, Sir. I think you should take responsibility
for some of your credibility problems. You yourself claimed recently that those
people are not giving you good advice.
But you see, the buck stops at your desk. Therefore you should get rid
of bad advisers, ministers, etc. You are responsible for 160 million lives, not
just a few thousands near you. Striving towards the bigger picture of working
for the generality of Nigerians would have made you a good leader.
Mr
PREZ: But you will vote for me, won’t you?
ME:
Sir, I can’t answer that. I did in 2011 but four years after, I see no reason I
should do that again.
Mr
PREZ: I see. Thanks for being honest with me.
ME:
You are welcome Sir. My regards to the Dame.
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